So, today is Thanksgiving--at least in America and for Americans around the world (gives a quick non-Thanksgiving-y shout-out to all my non-American friends--buncha heathens). It is a day we look reflect on all of our blessings throughout the year and in our lives and think warmly upon our nation's history.

As we owe this day to the generosity of the Native Americans in aiding the Pilgrims to survive the harsh New England winter, and as I owe a special debt to them (had my many-times-great-grandfather John Howland died that winter, you would not be reading this truly enlightening post*), I decided to look back on those friendly and helpful people through the eyes of one of our nation's most beloved institutions: Disney.

Let's see how Disney wishes us to think of our native brethren:



Huh. Ummm...oops? Clearly, my mistake was using a movie made by Disney back in the 1953, when everybody was stupid. Perhaps we should move to a more recent flick, made by Disney during the 90's, a much more enlightened time.



Oh, Disney, you so racist.

( A quick Disney tangent )

Anyway, since Disney is clearly not to be relied upon. Instead, I shall leave you with my personal favorite version of Thanksgiving:





And, let's be clear, I'm a direct descendant, not like some Johnny-come-latelies I could name By the way, this just proves that almost all members of my family are assholes.

We're going on an adventure, Charlie! To fandomhigh! It's a land of sweets and joy...and joyness! And applications for new students and teachers for the Spring 2010 semester are open!

Four and a half years and still going. Zoe Winchester (formerly Washburn) is our Principal. Deadpool is VP. Barney Stinson is Dean of Students, and Nathan 'Cable' Summers is the Mayor. Anakin Skywalker teaches, drives the welcome bus, and frequently gets bitten by gremlins. The students, teachers, townies and active alumni hail from 157 different fandoms and the senior class includes Alice Liddell (American McGee version), Cordelia Chase, Chuck Bass, Arthur Pendragon, Merlin and Morgana, Worf, Francine Peters, Katina Choovanski, Jaina Solo, Lois Lane, Sam Winchester, Dinah Lance, Hannibal King and Leto Atreides.

It's brain-sucking crackdramacomedyfun and it's entirely possible that if you join, you'll never get your life back*. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. But don't take my word for it. The characters put together a little brochure.**


[The shoeless wonder, for the curious, isn't Claire from Lost; it's Tahiri Veila from the Star Wars EU.]

Shun the non-believers. Shunnn! SHUUUUNNNN!

* Look! I've begun posting again! So it is possible to come back.

** Most of this post (except fun Charlie refs) blatantly stolen from the loverly mpoetess

Basically, I want to get a lot of people together in my basement (along with some truly EPIC amounts of booze) and force them to watch this movie:



No, really, it's an actual movie

Absolute KWALITY, as can be seen by this clip:



To be clear, I don't actually want to watch this film. I just want to inflict it on others.

So, a few weeks ago, a bunch of us were watching the Nostalgia Chick's review on The Transformers Movie (as in the old TV movie). Here, watch it:



So, my theory is that Joss watched this movie at an impressionable time in his life. Yeah, I know he was in his early twenties when it came out, but still, impressionable time. Perhaps he was drunk or high or crazy after remaining awake for seventy-two hours for finals (hi ddrpolaris!) And he was so scarred/impressed/whatever by the random destruction of named characters for no reason at all, that he decided that what he saw was just the most amazing example of movie-making there ever was. It just stayed with him for the next two decades, percolating in the back of his mind, whispering to him examples of fine directing.

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. Joss Whedon was unnaturally influenced by the '86 Transformers movie. The end.

quish took me to her range today and taught me how to shoot. She showed me her .22 and her 9mm and this old guy at the range loaned me his Colt .22 revolver for a few shots. It was...umm...awesome. (and yes, I totally pretended I was Emily Elizabeth while I was shooting his gun. A much less-awesome Emily, but still)

I was very careful and obeyed the rules, which are as follows:

1. Every gun is always loaded. ALWAYS. Treat it as such.

2. Keep your finger off the trigger unless you are aiming or shooting. Carrying the gun? Finger off the trigger. Bringing the gun up to shoot? Finger still off until the gun is pointing in a safe direction.

3. Be aware of your surroundings; bullets go through targets, paper, walls, people...

4. Never point a gun at something you aren't willing to destroy. Never point a gun at someone unless you're willing to kill them.

And, most important:

5. To test how loaded is your gun, check with eyes and hands and tongue. That's right, lick the gun to check if it's loaded. If it doesn't taste loaded, you're okay. quish promised.

Seriously, though, I had a really good time. I found a stance that works for me, I shot a bulls-eye and a bunch of times within the target, and I learned how to load the magazine. I have a long, long, long way to go before I am prepared for the Zombocalypse, but I feel like I took a few very important steps in the right direction.

Everyday, when I'm reaching for pants to wear, I have to fight not to grab a pair of shogunhb's jeans and wear those instead. Loose-fitting...pockets that you can actually put things in...comfortable...

I'm really thinking of buying a few pair of men's jeans next time I go shopping. These 'tight, low-cut, minimal-pocket' things I've been wearing are getting REALLY FRIKKIN' OLD.

Truly, my sartorial struggles are EPIC.

On the way to the Brzquishski's last night to watch the Leonids, shogunhb was remarking that he couldn't see the 'W' that represented Cassiopeia. Being as I'd never seen Cassiopeia or knew what the constellation looked like, I then said that I wasn't sure what the ancients (damn you, mesmerising, I nearly wrote that with a capital 'A') were smoking, because I couldn't ever see the things that the constellations are supposed to be representing--with the obvious exceptions of the dippers and Orion, of course, and he only gets a bye because of his belt.

The problem is, of course, the lack of stars. Even back in Plainville (where we can see waaaay more stars than here in Worcester), it was always too bright to be able to see all that many. I lived near the center of town and the light pollution made it impossible to see anything dimmer than the medium-bright stars.

Last night, wrapped in blankets and gazing up from the deck (the roof was too slippery because of frost), I glanced up at the sky (which held a ton of stars), I noticed a cluster of stars that kind of looked like the handicap symbol. I point it out to everyone and as I'm showing the stars that make up wheelchair, I realize that the stars that I'm pointing to must be Cassiopeia! I can even see how the five brightest starts make the 'W' that is her constellation. And I just have this moment of wonder...I can look at the same group of stars and see something very similar to what people back in the second century saw. It was...kind of awesome, actually.

For the rest of the night, we referred to her as Wheelchairiopeia because we're made of wrong. It did mitigate the sense of wonder a bit, as it was hard to talk about her without giggling, but still. I felt...kinda of proud. I also found Leo, which was another constellation I'd never been able to find before and showed everyone where the Big Dipper was hiding (behind yet another tree). I was Queen of Constellations last night.

So, many thanks to quish and purple_dj for letting us use their deck so I could see the stars in a way I had never before.

Since I can't make the Lunacon meeting in NY on Sunday, I'm scheduling a Lunacon meeting of my own on Sunday (if that works for most of my monkeys).

If you are one of said monkeys (or just think you are), could you please chime in and let me know if you'll be able to make a late-Sunday afternoon meeting. And if the answer is no, when you think you could make a meeting?

Thanks

murnkay, this is for you.

I blame qedrakmar completely and utterly (except for the part where I blame shogunhb for watching it near me).

Uhh...it's work safe? That's...like a positive.

It's copyright 2009 California Milk Processor Board.

I need a better 'what the fucking fuck' icon, I have now just decided.

"BEDPAN!"

So I came up with a scale last night. It's my "Super-Villain Hireling Attack Scale." Basically, it ranks my feared hirelings that I might ever go up against, should I become the kind of person who fights super-villains. Alternately (and more likely) this is the scale I will use when it comes time to begin hiring people to support my evil schemes.

Level One: Dogs. With bees in their mouths. And everytime they bark, they shoot bees at you.
Level Two: Mooks.
Level Two Point Five: Specific (or 'Themed') Mooks (Nazis, Storm Troopers, bikers)
Level Three: Ninjas
Level Four: The DPW (seriously! Don't fuck with them! They'll cut you!)
Level Five: Jesuits. Enough said.

As a good guy up against a Level Five threat, I would either try to run away and change my identity, or just find a painless and very quick way to commit suicide. As a super-villain, I would hire Level Fives on a single, one-off basis, pay them very well and on time, and do try extra hard not to piss them off. They win.

Today is my "One Year Hospital-Free" anniversary. As anniversaries go, it's kind of lamesauce (which is a fun word, btw). Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to pieces I can celebrate it, but getting excited that I've spent a whole 365 days not in the hospital is really kind of depressing. It's like celebrating Arbor Day and Flag Day; sure, there's a reason why they became holidays, but that doesn't stop them from being lamesauce holidays. (If you happen to be a fan of one of those holidays, that's fine. I totally respect you and your reasons, don't feel the need to share them. Because it won't stop them from being lamesauce. And now I am done using lamesauce in this post.)

Lamesauce. Ha! Fooled you.

( Snipped as I just realized how long this got )

(PS The icon is for you, ddrpolaris)

PPS I'm trying to figure out how to combine my anniversary with Guy Fawkes Day. I'm thinking I start blowing shit up until the government starts offering DECENT FUCKING HEALTHCARE OPTIONS.

Today is Halloween and I'm just not feeling it this year. Maybe it's because we agreed not to get any of the decorations out. Maybe because we never actually got around to getting a pumpkin. Probably because I don't even really have a costume--I'm recycling a dress to kind of go along with shogunhb's costume, but really, it's just me in a dress.

On the other hand, maybe I should just stfu--after all, I'm not in the hospital today. being kind of 'meh' still beats how I spent last Halloween--getting a colonoscopy.

On the other, other hand, maybe I should just get my 'meh' on now, so I'm in a better mood by tonight's parties.

THERE'S A QUEEN SONGPACK FOR ROCKBAND!!!!!!!!!!


OMGYAYZ!!

“Another One Bites the Dust,”
“Crazy Little Thing Called Love,”
“Fat Bottomed Girls,”
“I Want It All,”
“I Want to Break Free,”
“Killer Queen,”
“One Vision,”
“Somebody to Love,”
“Tie Your Mother Down”
“Under Pressure.”

Clearly not all of the best songs possible, but still--Queen!

No. Really.

Narrowing down why juldea is awesome like an awesome thing would take faaaaaar too long, but I would like to point out two really great things she's done for me recently.

*Over a month ago, I got a quick email from her asking if I had a copy of this Jane Austen CYOA novel. I said no, I had a completely different Jane Austen CYOA book. Several days later, it had arrived in my mailbox, shiny and new from England. Cause she loves me.

*A few days ago, I got another email from her. This one was a forward from a group offering $100 to talk to people with a bunch of different diseases, one of which was ulcerative colitis. She wanted to make sure I saw it. So Wednesday, I'll be heading to Boston to make $100 for being sick and opinionated. Two things I'm really good at!

So, yay for juldea!!!

Played in hazliya's game Martha Stewart's Guide to Interdimensional Summoning (and Basting a Turkey) yesterday and had a blast. My character was a bit of a deviation from the norm: she was neither a thief, a whore, or an assassin (though she was a princess). Instead, she was the mental equivalent of a 14 year old girl obsessed with Disney movies and happily-ever-afters. In fact, when asked what she was looking for, I answered, "I want it all--true love, romance...I'm looking for the Edward to my Bella."

The game around me stopped, mostly so all three GMs could come over, hit me, and shake their heads. To which I replied, "I LEARNED IT FROM YOU YOU MADE ME THIS WAY!!!" In my defense, it was completely, utterly, and honestly within character. Haz referred to it as a literary rick-roll, which was awesome because we had a regular rick-roll, too.

I learned several things from this LARP. The first is I am a terrible LARPer when I'm playing the vapidest vapid nitwit who was ever incredibly vapid. Don't get me wrong--I totally rocked the the character, but I kept breaking character to hide behind my sheet and laugh at myself. I could play her and play her well, I just couldn't play her for more than seven or so minutes without breaking.

The second thing I learned was that usernamenumber and I are NOT ALLOWED TO GAME TOGETHER. We were awesomeful, which, yes, is a mix of awful and awesome.

Some memorable quotes (it helps to read them all like lines in a soap opera):
usernamenumber (while giving my character a magical back-rub of utter sexiness): "You're a diamond. No--you're a piece of coal on the brink of becoming a diamond!"
Me: "Well, I'm on the brink all right..."

usernamenumber: "...unless you think I'm too much of a monster!" (Dramatic arm gesture as he turns away)
Me: "No! Never! I could never think of you as a monster. In fact--you're the only person who understands me--down to the depths of my soul! If you're a monster, then I'm one, too! And I couldn't care less!"

usernamenumber: "You're a diamond, refracting the light of truth to its component spectra...that metaphor got away from be a bit, didn't it?"

There were a bunch more. After awhile, I was too busy laughing to remember them properly. They were appropriately epic, though, I know that much.

shogunhb had a great time, too. He was an adorably earnest demon with a slightly-askew bow-tie who was voted 'Most Eligible Demon.' He wibbled when he won. IT WAS SO ADORABLE I NEARLY CRIED. how_low_am_i also played, it being her very firstest LARP ever and had a blast. Her character won 'Most Eligible Human.' Then she and shogunhb bonded. I'd be all stupid-jealous, cause, uhh, I so am and stuff, but my character had run off to another section of Martha's mansion to have sex so mindblowing she blacked out. Oh well, no fits of insane jealousy for me.

I am now trying to convince her to come to Intercon. I suggest everyone go to her LJ and back me up, but THE POST WHERE SHE ADMITS LIKING TO LARP IS F-LOCKED, PROBABLY CAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT HER COOL FRIENDS TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

I'd say "Ha! Now they know for sure!" but I'm pretty sure she makes sure her cool friends don't know my LJ exists. Except maybe yonaruth. Hi yonaruth! Except yonaruth played in the Buffy game with us, so she's prolly safe.

In summary: Game fun, people great, good time was had by all. I'd say that it was a LARP with a high replay value since there are no Big Secrets or Plot Twists that would make it impossible to play again. It's a game driven purely by character interaction, so as long as you always have a solid cast, it'll be a new game every time.

Thanks a ton, Haz, for letting me play.

Okay, actually, I have lots of words. Of the four-letter variety.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN: AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE REFUSED MARRIAGE LICENSE

*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

I don't actually have a comment right now. I'm too busy sputtering in not-completely-surprised-rage. bonisagus, I can't actually thank you for showing me this...

Looks like fall lasted as long as spring did this year. shogunhb and I left the restaurant to find it...snowing. *shudders* Blecch.


Me: *stepping out of the restaurant* It's SNOWING! *is offended*
shogunhb: No it's not. It's...err...rain!
Me: Frozen, crystalline rain maybe--otherwise colloquially known as snow!
Other patrons: *give me odd looks and hurry to their car*


Have I mentioned how much I despise snow? Lots. MY PEOPLE* CAME FROM A WARM CLIMATE, DAMMIT!!


*(about a quarter of them, anyway)

So, everyone who told me that bathing the kittens when they were wee would acclimate them to being bathed as adults?

LIED.

Islay is bathed and I am injured. Still, I think I won, as Islay is more bathed than I am injured.

I will not be trying the same thing with the Captain, as I'm pretty sure I will end up injured without him getting bathed. Bathing Captain is a two-person job.

Still, Islay is on my lap and licking my face, so I think she forgives me. That, or she's been watching mobster clips on Youtube again and this is my 'Lick of Death.' We'll find out tomorrow if and when I wake up.

If I don't make it, have these final words: since you're reading this, it probably means I like you.

* Don't read Eclipse Phase right before going to sleep. It will give you stupidly scary dreams.

* Also, when your kitten decides to crawl under the covers and press her cold nose on your back, you will scream and flail like a little girl. This is extra bad because you will scare your cat and get scratched as she tries to flee.

There is not much maneuvering room under blankets, FYI.

*Also, also, pairing Eclipse Phase with Plants Vs. Zombies leads to weird-ass dreams about creating tower defenses out of robots with lasers and singing sunflowers. Trufax.

I warn because I care.